(mh---, cont.)
It still makes me wonder though.Is it my fault? Am I not worth attention? Do I expect too much of the people around me? And why then - am I trying to be too much for them, warping my perspective?
I can basically never truly fall apart. It's like everyone around me is a very friendly vulture, circling for a weakness in my person, and capitalising when I show one imperfection. My armour needs to be perfect every second of every hour, and one sign of humanity is a flaw to be rectified.
I know it's my mind playing tricks, projecting its perfectionism on the people around me. Everyone is human, so everyone is allowed to make mistakes.
Except me. I will bear everyone's mistakes by being unerring.
I used to be a person people wanted to interact with. I think. I'm not sure.
I hope I still am, but I am becoming more doubtful every second I see them circling overhead.
If they're waiting for my fall, they'll be circling there for a while.
I hope.